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"Support for the dating-challenged," proclaims the front page. Many of the site's users have gone years, decades, or even their entire lives without romance.Some identify themselves as suffering from "love-shyness," a condition, though not recognized by any mental health authority, that is characterized by extreme anxiety over any romantic or sexual interaction.
For several years, Michael has been the owner and administrator of love-shy.com, a Web forum where men—and a smattering of women—talk about their struggles with sex, love, and dating.
But – science is rarely perfect, and this is the best we’ve got. The most striking result is that there was a huge amount of variation.
The average time for each couple (that is, averaged across all the times they had sex) ranged from 33 seconds to 44 minutes. So it’s clear there’s no one "normal" amount of time to have sex.
I know there’s a lot more to sex than putting the penis into the vagina and ejaculating, but the rest is not always easy to define (kissing? What about just asking people how long they take, you say? One is that people are likely to be biased upwards in their time estimates, because it’s socially desirable to say you go long into the night.
The other problem is that people don’t necessarily know how long they go for.
If you’re a non-scientist, you might have once asked yourself, propped against the bedhead after disappointingly quick intercourse, how long does sex "normally" last? To keep things simple and specific, we’ll just focus on the time to ejaculation.
A scientist, though, would phrase the same question in an almost comically obscure way: What is the mean intravaginal ejaculation latency time? Measuring an average time to ejaculation is not a straightforward matter.
Studies have found that the longer and deeper a man has slept, the higher his testosterone levels.
Research in the Journal of the American Medical Association shows getting more than five hours' sleep can raise male levels by an extra 15 per cent.
Sex isn’t something people normally do while monitoring the bedside clock, and unassisted time estimation may be difficult during a transportative session of love-making.
The best study we have estimating the average time to ejaculation in the general population involved 500 couples from around the world timing themselves having sex over a four-week period – using a stopwatch.
This could potentially lead to greater conflict, cheating, or a break-up.