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18-Sep-2019 18:01 by 8 Comments

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One time I memorized a whole Hebrew pop song just to impress this Israeli guy," he said to me with eyes the size of my grandma's matzoh balls.

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Across the table from me was a South Korean guy who had watched videos of me eating KFC during his time serving for his home country's national military.

He had told me that watching my videos made him happy and miss America.

Now we were on a first date because I am a crazy narcissist.

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He started singing and I envisioned my Hebrew school teacher Mr. I asked him what he likes about Jewish guys and the answer, of course, didn't surprise me: "Oh, it's their beards for sure.

Love their noses too." I quickly chugged the rest of my beer so the date could be over.

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