Dave barry dating quotes
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"Did they make billions of dollars in a short period of time? Could they make billions of dollars in a short period of time? For too long this country has been run by losers who never once made a billion dollars in a short period of time. It's time we picked a guy who has accomplished things. My only criticism of him, as a candidate, concerns his hair, which is the color of a diseased pumpkin and appears to originate from some point on his body other than his head.
We thought that thing was out of our lives forever, but suddenly there it was again, all over the Internet, as Weiner came back from the political grave like the phoenix, the mythical bird that arose from the ashes to run for mayor of New York and use the name “Carlos Danger” to text obscene photos of its privates to somebody named “Sydney Leathers.” Speaking of pathologically narcissistic sex weasels: Also coming back from the dead in 2013 to seek elective office in New York (What IS it with New York?
I’m going to recount one of those moments here, because it happens to involve this very newspaper, the Miami Herald.
Author and longtime Miami Herald columnist Dave Barry shares tips for handling teenage hormones, the best way to pick up your kid from school, and what dad really wants for Father’s Day.
He earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in English from Haverford College in 1969.
In his book, Dave Barry's Greatest Hits, he stated that during college he was in a band called "The Federal Duck." As the son of a minister and an alumnus of a Quaker-affiliated college, Barry avoided military service during the Vietnam War by registering as a religious conscientious objector.
He was educated at Wampus Elementary School and Harold C.
Crittenden Junior High School (both in Armonk), and Pleasantville High School where he was elected "Class Clown" in 1965.
This year was so bad that twerking wasn’t even the stupidest dance craze. People lining up to buy i Phones to replace i Phones that they bought only minutes earlier came back.
That would be the “Harlem Shake,” which is not so much a dance as a mass nervous-system disorder, and which makes the “Gangnam Style” dance we mocked in 2012 look like “Swan Lake.” We miss 2012. And for approximately the 250th time, the Obama administration pivoted back to the economy, which has somehow been recovering for years now without actually getting any better. Suddenly this year restaurants started putting kale into everything, despite the fact that it is an unappetizing form of plant life that until recently was used primarily for insulation. Goats, when presented with kale, are like, “No, thanks, we’ll just chew on used seat cushions.” Another annoying 2013 trend was people who think it is clever to say “hashtag” in front of everything.
I’ve never been totally sold on the concept of Father’s Day.
For one thing, it was officially declared a national holiday by Richard Nixon, so it might not even be legal.
But getting back to the zombies: It wasn’t just people who came back alarmingly in 2013. Unfortunately, before they could get the darned thing fixed, the administration had to pivot back to yet another zombie issue, health care, because it turned out that Obamacare, despite all the massive brainpower behind it, had some “glitches,” in the same sense that the universe has some “atoms.” Were there any new trends in 2013? Listen carefully, people who think this is clever: Hashtag shut up.